Recovery begins with connection

Jun 4, 2024 | 7 min read | Updated: Nov 28, 2025

In the latest episode of ‘The Intervention Podcast’, hosts Peggy-Sue Figueira and Lya Young-Afat sit down with Mike van der Velde. Mike has his own story to tell about his history of addiction. We see footage of Mike in the past, when he took part in a television programme in an attempt to change his situation, followed by video messages from grateful young people whom Mike now helps through his organisation ‘Wij zijn BROER!`.

Read all about Mike’s story in this blog, including his turbulent childhood, the influence of family and the power of connection. We also explore questions about addiction and its impact on family and loved ones in greater depth.

Would you rather watch or listen to the podcast? Click here: The Intervention Podcast episode 3 – Mike van der Velde of WIJ ZIJN BROER.

Mike van der Velde is the founder of “Wij zijn BROER!”, an outpatient youth treatment centre in Alkmaar that helps young people with addiction. His motivation to help young people stems from his past experiences with treatment services.

Mike’s childhood involved many challenges and setbacks, which led him to find an outlet in anger and aggression at a young age. He was often sent out of class, felt unfairly treated and misunderstood. Above all, he felt alienated from everyone else. Later in life, he found a new solution, this time in intoxicating substances, which only made his problems more severe.

Mike hit rock bottom in February 2007. He attempted to take his own life using the insulin he received for his diabetes. After being in a coma for several days, he woke up on the fourth day and thought: “I need help”.

After hitting rock bottom, Mike tried to find recovery through the television programme Afkicken.

“It was a very good television programme, but not a good treatment programme,” says Mike. In his view, his counsellor got everything wrong.

“A rolled r, a floral shirt, a Jaguar – I thought: what am I doing here?”

After giving it a chance, the devil on his shoulder won. The fear of saying goodbye to what was familiar took over, and on 4 June 2007 he was asked to leave because of his behaviour.

What the programme had given him was a platform and attention. “I began filling myself up with recognition.”

At the same time, he was literally working on his knees every day as a paviour, with a bottle of cola containing strongly scented water beside him. Mike had long felt a hole in his soul, but this time he felt it more intensely than ever before. For a short while, he managed to fill that hole with a girl who had fallen in love with him, but she could not fill it enough to take away the pain. He also saw how much pain his behaviour was causing his mother. All of this eventually led Mike to seek professional help through a number he found in one of the messages on the forum, which he visited every day for that boost of recognition.

Calling that number led to a different kind of initial assessment from the ones Mike was used to.

“He picked me up and then we drove around Amsterdam.”

During the drive, the man first began telling his own story. Because Mike recognised so much of it, he automatically began sharing his own experiences as well, something he would normally never discuss with anyone.

“Then we went to eat – proper food.”

There, the man explained more about the treatment process, whose central rule was: no more alcohol and no more drugs.

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

Leaving a life of addiction behind and making a fresh start is not as easy as people sometimes think. It is a journey of ups and downs, with deeply rooted resistance. It requires a great deal of intrinsic motivation, which is often deeply buried and may no longer be sufficient at that moment. After turning down the offer, Mike returned to the girl he was with and drank so much that same evening that he suffered alcohol poisoning.

“And after that weekend, I was back on my knees and crying: what am I doing?”

Mike therefore found himself in Amsterdam for a second time and, after proving his willingness at Dam Square, was allowed to take part in the treatment that transformed his life.

Mike’s relationship with his family had been severely damaged by his addiction. His mother was always the only one who sensed that he was going off the rails. When he was around 14, she took him from one mental health institution to another. His mother was not taken seriously, and Mike’s difficult behaviour and cannabis use were blamed on adolescence.

At around the age of 20, he was made to leave home because he chose a life of drugs.

“Looking back now, that was the best decision they could have made at the time.”

Sometimes letting go of someone you love is the only way to save them, yourself and your family. Yet this is one of the most difficult decisions a parent may ever have to make.

Despite the distance between Mike and his family, he could still turn to his parents when he reached his lowest point. His mother set a strict condition for his return: no drugs, no alcohol and no nonsense. Although Mike initially continued using even after returning home, this turning point ultimately led him to a treatment programme where he genuinely began to recover.

According to Mike, a lack of connection is often at the root of destructive behaviour and addiction. At Wij zijn BROER!, the treatment process therefore emphasises connection. This involves, on the one hand, the right connection with a practitioner who understands what the young people are going through from personal experience and, on the other, the connection created by involving the family.

According to Mike, involving the family in the recovery process is the most important thing for two reasons:

1. The family of someone with an addiction always plays a part in setting a destructive coping mechanism in motion.

“It is not that they have made mistakes; they always act out of love, but they get it wrong in doing so.”

2. Addiction is a family disease, so it is not only the person carrying it who suffers, but the entire system around them.

At Wij zijn BROER!, the family is involved every week. This naturally depends on the situation, but it is explained beforehand that they want to involve the entire system. By providing a supportive environment in which young people and their families can work together, Mike and his organisation seek to give young people the help he himself needed in the past.

Perhaps you can also see someone close to you struggling and suspect that they are misusing substances. Mike described his behaviour as harmful, not only to himself but to everyone around him.

“Lying, cheating, manipulating, avoiding, denying, isolating, and so on.”

Recognising the signs of addiction is the first step towards offering help. Would you like to learn more about the signs you may notice in a loved one with an addiction? Read our blog: How do you recognise addiction in a loved one?

As we often say here at Peggy-Sue Addiction Care: addiction is not merely a disease that affects the person with the addiction; it is a disease of the entire system. Its impact extends beyond the person themselves to their family and loved ones.

The emotional strain the disease places on a family is its greatest consequence. Family members often experience feelings of fear, sadness, anger and frustration. This drastically changes the entire family dynamic, leading to damaged relationships and a loss of trust.

Financial problems can also result from addiction, as substance use and treatment may impose a significant burden. In addition, the constant stress negatively affects family members’ health.