My work is not ‘one size fits all’

6 Sep 2017 | 4 min read

Help! A loved one has an addiction. But what do you do if they do not want help? How do you persuade someone with an addiction to enter recovery? That is my target group.

As many as ninety-five per cent of the people with addictions I work with do not want help.

The family call me. They tell me that they have a serious problem involving a loved one with an addiction. The person does not want help. They are at their wits’ end and do not know what else they can do. These people are my target group. I now also receive calls from people who have heard my name but do not really know where to begin looking for a treatment programme. My public profile has grown particularly since my television appearances on Verslaafd! and Utopia. But that aside.

Why are there so many people with addictions who do not want help? Some are still in denial. They do not acknowledge their problem. On the other hand, I think that deep down they know something is genuinely wrong, but they cannot imagine that there is a solution. They think nobody knows how bad things are for them. They think their family could never understand them. And they cannot imagine a life without using.

By contrast, there are also people with addictions who have been closer to recovery. They have seen and experienced at first hand that others with addictions are in recovery. But plenty of people with addictions have not had that experience. They have never even heard of it. As a result, they do not believe in recovery. They do not believe there is a solution. They do not believe that people understand how serious their situation is. And they can no longer see any way out at all.

The fact that, as an interventionist expert by experience, I have lived experience is certainly an advantage. I can sit opposite someone with an addiction and say: “Yes, but I do understand. I have been here too. In this very place.” That lived experience is a positive aspect of my work as an interventionist. Of course, I also draw on other qualities. I need to be able to coach and counsel. I need to be able to maintain control in large groups. I need to assess what people are capable of. I need to know which tone to use with which people. But to really get to the heart of the matter, it helps to be able to say that I have been there too.

My work is not one size fits all. Everything I do is tailored to the individual. I rely mainly on my intuition. I also always prepare thoroughly. I study the complete circumstances of the person with the addiction. I draw up a profile. I know the person’s name and background. I know the names and backgrounds of the people involved. I also know all the stories. This tells me which tone to use and, among other things, how I should dress and behave.

I also place great value on spirituality. I always pray before an intervention and believe that angels are with me when I conduct one. I then let go of everything and follow my instincts. I am spiritually minded and believe in my Higher Power. This is also something you learn during recovery in a twelve-step programme. I will discuss this in more detail in another blog.

Incidentally, there are also people who look down on those recovering from addiction, strange as that may sound—and sadly this sometimes includes the family, the client who commissioned the intervention. I sense that immediately, especially when I emphasise my lived experience throughout the explanation of an intervention. We usually get there in the end, but this is another hurdle I have to overcome with them.